Five biggest sex mistakes

[Bobby42]

The March issue of Maxim magazine featured results of a survey involving 100 women. I reviewed the survey and added my comments:

#5 Abrupt change of stroking speed: Remember the song featuring Clarence Carter? The survey said most women don't appreciate a sudden shift in gears. Shit. That's why they make seatbelts. They suggested men should make like the Eagles and take it easy. The only time a woman wants you to speed up is doing the final 10 second countdown.

#4 Python-tongue oral action: Knifing it in the slot hard and heavy is not what they want. They want us to learn how to munch carpet like a women. If that's the case then why do they scissor their legs like a fukk'n vice?

#3 Saliva Slurpees: Most women hate it when a man runs his tongue all over the place. One woman said it reminded her of a wet trail a slug makes. Another said she doesn't appreciate it when dude doesn't suck in all the extra saliva when kissing or giving head. Fukk it, then they complain on lack of foreplay.

#2 Hot-Button abuse: I don't understand this because licking the clitoris is allegedly what the woman wants.

#1 The Greatest Offense: Earilingus: Hey guys, most women hate it when you stick your bourbon and cigarette smelling tongue in an ear plugged with wax and makeup.

I dunno. Post here if you can think of counters.

[Diego in Seattle]

<Obligatory Viper reset goes here>

[PrimeX]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Bobby42:
Another said she doesn't appreciate it when dude doesn't suck in all the extra saliva when kissing or giving head. </font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

That's just sick. She can let it run down her leg and wipe it with the sock..

[Python]

Great, now I've got a sex mistake named after me.

[Funkywhiteboy]

SCIII vets' favorite story:
Blooorf
Props to KUTTER, now in the "Where Are They Now?" file.

[Filthy McNastie]

http://www.m7sports.com/NonCGI/Forum1/HTML/006098.html

KUTTER is right here...

L8.

[Funkywhiteboy]

Thanks for the update, Filthy.
I haven't been in TNW recently.
out

[Diego in Seattle]

(Insert token Viper reset here)

<font color="#330033" size="1">[ March 12, 2002 09:01 PM: Message edited by: Diego in Seattle ]</font>

[Cuda]

#1:Running out of lubricant before 9 pm in the evening

-sin,
PrimeX